What Gidget Needs

We were listening to Christmas music and talking as we were going over our Christmas checklist a week or so ago. Gidget's grandparents had requested that she give them a wish list. This year's theme: Barbie...anything! She was given a bunch of used Barbie dolls last year from a lady who used to collect them for her granddaughters to play with at her house.

Gidget really wanted the camper and we managed to find one. Then we saw how much they were selling for on eBay and were greatly tempted...

Anyway, so she's thinking and thinking about what to put on this list. Then she jumps up and yells, "I've got it!"

"Wonderful! So what's going on the list?" asks her Dad.

"Well, last year Grandma got me Barbie clothes. Remember? They were all fancy dresses," Gidget said to which her Dad replied, "I remember."

(Just throwing in here that I seriously doubt he remembered it at that point in the conversation...)

So Gidget continues with, "Dad, do you really remember or are you just pretending to remember? Because I remember that you kept laughing because I had my Barbies split up into basketball teams and had them dressed up in high heels and evening gowns and YOU kept teasing me about it!"

As her Dad stifles laughter he replies, "Yes, of course I remember. How could I possibly forget the Barbie All Star team's shoe jingle you came up with?!"

We all chant it in unison, "The pumps increase our jumps."

"Right. I'm surprised you remembered!" she replied. (As if we'd forget that!)

"So I'm guessing you're not going to ask Grandma for Barbie clothes, right?" I ask her.

"No. I think she shouldn't be in charge of fashion...although I'm grateful to her for giving it a try."

"I totally get that." replies the man who remembers as a boy being forced to wear orange and green checkered corduroys with a pink and yellow striped polyester shirt for picture day at school.

"I've been over and over this in my mind. I have white Barbies and black barbies and brown Barbies. I have blond Barbies and red-headed Barbies and brown haired Barbies and black haired Barbies and, well, you get the picture."

"Go on." I say, just waiting for what this beautiful mind has come up with this time.

"I have tall Barbies and short ones; grown-up Barbies and little girl ones. I've thought this through and through and, well..."

"WHAT I REALLY NEED IS A MAN!"

(one minute later)

"Mom? Dad? What's so funny? Why are you laughing like that?"

(five minutes later)

"SERIOUSLY? What's so funny?"

(ten minutes later)

"Are you two going to stop laughing so we can have a descent conversation?"

(five minutes after that)

"I'm going to my room."