Exposing Major Blind Spots

A friend of mine recently pointed my attention to this article.  WOW!  It's good!  If you are a home-schooling your kids you NEED to take the time to read this!

If you are a parent, you NEED to read this!

If you are a Christian, you NEED to read this!

Exposing Major Blind Spots of Homeschoolers by Reb Bradley

"Fruit is born from the inside -- not applied to the outside."  (Just one of the many, many points to ponder!)

Our Last Goodbye

Dean and Dee, 2010

When I was 4 he got married.  I was not a happy camper.  I really was mad at his new wife because I was going to grow up and marry my big brother!  How dare she!!!  But, reluctantly, I hugged him goodbye as he left for his honeymoon.


When I was 8 I stood proudly beside him as he in his full dress U.S. Army uniform led my class in the Pledge of Allegiance.  I had brought him in for show and tell.  Then, I went out with him to his car and hugged him goodbye as he left for the airport heading to Germany where he was stationed for four years.


When I was 10 I watched our lane for hours waiting for him to get there!  Two years without seeing him was torture!  He was coming home from Germany for Christmas!!!  I enjoyed watching him wallop my other older brother for all the mean things he'd done to me while he was away.  Then the New Year came and he and his family had to head back.  Once again I hugged him goodbye and watched the airplane leave Dover Air Force Base.


When I was 14 I spent a whole month with him on the Army base in Massachusetts.  I had so much fun being "Aunt Stacey" to his 4 children.  He introduced me to the music of Steven Curtis Chapman.  He took me to see all the historical sights he could.  We got to watch the fireworks on the 4th of July from a special viewing area reserved for soldiers and their families.  It was AWESOME!  Not just the fireworks, but being the only single girl on an Army base full of very lonely young men.  It helped that at 14 I looked like I was much older. ;)  Of course, my big brother had to be just that...my big brother and protect me from all those handsome young guys in uniform.  I forgave him...eventually.  My parents came to pick me up at the end of that month.  Another goodbye hug without knowing when I'd get to see him again.


When I was 16 he was discharged from the Army with military honors.  I was so happy!  HE WAS COMING HOME FOR GOOD!!!  He became a pastor of a church about 30 minutes from where I lived.  I'd go to his house and babysit sometimes.  Sometimes I'd play the piano for their VBS or revival meetings.  Each time as I'd leave we'd hug goodbye.  Only now it wasn't with the "when will I see him again" feeling.


As I stood giving my Valedictorian speech at graduation he was there.  This time I could see the proud look on his face.  Then he gave me a great "I'm so proud of my little sister" goodbye hug.  That was an awesome night.


A few months later I was packing for college.  I was just about ready to leave when he showed up with a huge box for me.  I opened it up to find a computer and printer.  My brother...the computer whiz kid had built me a computer to take with me to college.  Of course, in 1990 it was HUGE and heavy.  We put it in the van with the rest of my stuff and hugged goodbye once more.


Later I ended up transferring to another college that was closer to home, and I met a young man at church.  He was an obnoxious jerk.  He got saved and was then a saved obnoxious jerk.  He set his mind on the fact that he was going to marry me.  We ended up at the same college.  He told my big brother, "You know I intend to marry your sister.  One day she'll be my wife."  My big brother just laughed.  A few years later on our wedding day my brother shared that story just before officiating our vow ceremony.  It was now my turn to leave for my honeymoon, and as I did so he hugged me goodbye.  (By the way, my new hubby was no longer an obnoxious jerk.)


Peter & I bought a small trailer to live in while we saved up to build our dream house.  (We didn't know at the time that God had other plans.)  I came home one day from work and found big brother building me a small front porch.  He said, "I know this isn't your dream house, but we can sure make it a great home for you in the meantime."  I cried.  When he was finished, I gave him the biggest hug goodbye.


After our baby girl was born I'd take her to work with me.  I set up a nursery in my office.  In the afternoons I'd teach piano and she'd sit in her baby swing.  I can't tell you how many times my brother (who happened to live next door to my office) would come steal her.  I'd have to go to his place after lessons were over and steal her back.  He said, "You've been the cool aunt to my kids for years, now it's my turn to be the cool uncle."  And he was.  My daughter loved when he'd kidnap her.  Each time I'd just laugh as we hugged him goodbye.


Fast forward to February, 2011.  Now my family is moving to Illinois.  We know we are doing what God wants us to do.  The day we left I spent the afternoon with him.  We made plans for him to come visit next spring.  We reminisced about all of these things I've just written about.  We laughed and cried.  Then it was time for me to leave.  We hugged goodbye once more.


I wish I had known that it was going to be the last hug goodbye.


Tuesday, August 23rd, 2011, he left his 53-year-old earthly body behind for a heavenly one.  I didn't get to hug him goodbye because I'm in Illinois and he was in Pennsylvania. 

Dear Dean,
     I know you aren't into the whole "blog thing" and all, and that you feel strongly that we shouldn't put anything on the internet because the government is watching every word... but I'm going to do it anyway.
     I didn't get to say goodbye this time, but I'm so glad that I'll get another "hello"!!!  Until we meet again, big brother, I'm going to trust that our Savior is giving you those hugs that I so want to give you.
     I'm very thankful that you are no longer in pain and that you are finally cancer free FOREVER.  I'm jealous that you are with Dad, but I am confident that you are both taking notes on what our idiot brother is doing wrong so you can both tell him when he gets there.
     I love you.  I wish I could have said that to you one more time before you left, but I do think you knew it in your heart.  Until we meet again know that you are in my heart forever.  I won't be able to look at chocolate covered cherries this Christmas without thinking of the many boxes I snuck to you through the years without your wife seeing.

Love you so much!                   

"We can cry with hope

We can say goodbye with hope

'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no

And we can grieve with hope

'Cause we believe with hope

(There's a place by God's grace)

There's a place where we'll see your face again

We'll see your face again..."

~ Steven Curtis Chapman

I Remember Her...

...that woman who would have 5 decadent desserts and 3-5 side dishes (all made from scratch, of course) prepared for the church picnic.  Not only would she have all of that ready, she'd be in charge of making sure that the kids had lots of fun games and prizes to enjoy.  She'd have all her family's clothes for the picnic washed and ready to go, plus Sunday's clothes laid out and ready.  The problem is that when thoughts of her flood my mind, the tears flood my eyes to the point that I can't get anything done.  I try so very hard to put her memory out of my mind -- and I often succeed at it.  Not today, though.

Today as I was struggling for hours with making 1 decadent (albeit very easy) dessert and 1 side dish, my mind rushed to thinking of her... the "me of the past" and I just got so angry with myself.  The more I thought of her, the more I decided that I could do it all.  So, I'd get in over my head more and more.  Before I knew it, 7 hours were just gone and I still hadn't finished just the 2 simple items.

I went to get the laundry out of the dryer and sat down and just cried.  I was so mad at myself for not being able to do all that I used to do.  I was frustrated and then I began to have a full blown pity party.  It wasn't pretty, let me tell ya!

Then I realized that the only one who was upset about my not doing all that I used to be able to do before the MS was me!  So, as I'm sitting in front of the dryer completely covered in tears I began to change my thinking.  Instead of thinking of all the things that I can't do, I started thinking of all the things that I can do right now that I couldn't do a year ago or even a few months ago for that matter!  For instance, I played the piano at a VBS at a friend's church last night.  Couldn't have done that a few months ago!  Sure, I hit some sour notes, but a few sour ones after years of not being able to hit any come out sweet in the end.  Well, maybe not to the other people listening, but to me anyway. ;) 

I also thought about the 13 steps I have to do to get down to the basement to do the laundry.  I couldn't have done that either.  Now I do them probably 15 times or more a week!  That's so cool! 

Yep, I served myself up a big ole piece of perspective pie.  I am ashamed of myself when I fall into those pity party modes, but I'm working on it. 

So, tomorrow I'll be taking 1 strawberry dessert and 1 bowl of macaroni salad with me to the picnic.  The people in my new church family didn't know her and they aren't going to be expecting her to show up.  They are expecting me to show, though, so I should probably get to bed!

The Battle in My Brain

So, my newest ministry as a PW (that's Pastor's Wife for those of you not "in the know") is teaching a ladies' Bible study.  Now, I have to tell you.  When I was asked I thought, "HA!  That's funny!  I am sooooo not qualified for that!"  But, I gave that great answer that always buys you more time and makes you sound good and spiritual, "Um... let me pray about it and get back to you."  So that's what I did.

Now here's where God's sense of humor comes in -- He made it pretty clear that this was EXACTLY what He wanted me to do!  I'm thinking, "Really?  What am I going to say?  I'm not gifted at speaking."  I refer to that as my Moses Moment.  So, I started praying more that God would show me what He wanted me to do.  I was thinking, "Okay.  I'll borrow/buy one of those DVD courses taught by someone like Beth Moore or Elizabeth George and then just do the discussion part with them."  God said, "No, that's not what I want you to do."

Then I thought, "Well, I'll have my Mom send me all of the lessons she's done with the ladies over the years.  She's such a gifted Bible teacher.  Her lessons are always so good.  Maybe I can pull that off."  God said, "No, that's not what I want you to do."

I thought, "Okay.  So, You don't want me to use something from someone who is more gifted than I am and has done this for years.  What do You want me to do?  Come up with something all on my own?"

God said, "Yes, that's exactly what I want you to do.  Now, when you're done having your little panic attack and are ready to ask Me for help, I'll be here waiting to guide you."

So, I couldn't sleep (I know, SHOCKER... right, DENISE??)  For those of you who don't know, Denise and I have chosen the path of living our lives in the state of sleep deprivation.  Some nights we are lucky enough to find each other alive and well (albeit in a comma-like state) on FaceBook.  I began to pray as I lay there in bed and I drifted off which was a true blessing.  I'd been praying for sleep for so many nights!

You know, I've always heard, "God has a sense of humor."  I've even said it when it seemed like the thing to say.  Now, I HAVE PROOF!  Guess what time I woke up?  FIVE A.M.  Yep.  And on a Saturday to boot!  So, I made my, "I cannot believe I'm awake already" trip down the hall to the bathroom, then my "I'm totally going back to bed" trip back to my bedroom.  Only, as I was lying there my mind was just racing.  All these ideas for what to do with the women were flooding it.  I was like, "Now?  Really?  Can't I just go back to sleep and I'll work on this at, oh, say 8?"  God said, "No.  You should get up and work on it now."

But, I thought for sure that I misunderstood what He was telling me.  So, I rolled over and tried sleeping on my left side instead of my right.  And just extra "proof" of God's sense of humor:  my hubby's alarm clock goes off -- and HE SLEEPS THROUGH IT!  So, I get up and make the, "I'm so gonna kill him" walk over to his side of the bed and turn off his alarm, give him a very gentle (okay, not so gentle) shove and say, "How on earth did you sleep through your alarm?  You turned the volume up to it's max?  Get up!"  (Yea, we've been married that long.)

You know what he has the nerve to say?  "Oh, I forgot to shut that off.  I don't have to get up for another hour."  Then, he goes right back to sleep while I'm standing there with my "I am so annoyed at you right now" look on my face!  THE NERVE!  I have spent the last 14 years working on that look and have just perfected it!

And God said in His still small voice: "I told you to get up."

Okay.  Now I'm up!  So, I grab a pen and a tablet and my Bible and head out to the living room.  That's where OBJECTIVITY was born.  He gave me the idea to use all these different objects that would be very recognizable to women and teach a practical Christian living application with each object.

So, we had our very first OBJECTIVITY night this past Thursday.  My lesson was called, "What's Weighing You Down" and I used weights as my object.  My DH (redeeming himself from the whole alarm thing) made weights for me out of wood, painted them black, and then put the writing on them.  They look so real!  On each weight, we put E-Motion as the weight "brand" and then on the opposite side, a different emotional weight with which women struggle.  I focused mainly on worry, regret, and bitterness, but also touched on fear, anger, pride, and guilt.  I wrapped myself up in a chain at one point and hung all these weights on it to show how satan wants to keep us bound by our emotions so that we are of no use to God.  (Yep, I felt like I was crazy...but it felt good to be doing what God wanted me to do.)

I do plan to post some of the lesson on here at a different time... right now we are getting ready for our trip to MN for hubby's grandma's memorial service.  Not looking forward to it due to how dysfunctional his family is, but praying that Peter will get the opportunity to share the Gospel with them.  We're heading into hostile territory, and that's probably an understatement!  This will be the first time since our wedding day (14 years ago) that we have been with any of his side of the family other than his folks.  He's especially anxious to spend some time with his sister and her family.  Pray for us! :)

Happy, Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my WONDERFUL husband!!! I love you so much!

We didn't do anything amazing... just went to Ikea and got a dresser so we can get our clothes out of the bins. (Exciting, I know! That's how we roll! lol.) Monday when we actually get the dresser assembled and the clothes out of the bins and into said assembled dresser -- THAT will be amazing!!! :) We've been looking at garage sales and auctions, but the drawers are always too heavy. We left our dresser back in PA because it was very, very old (60-70 years) and the drawers were so heavy. When I'm having a bad MS day I can't open them. We finally decided to get the one from Ikea because it was (a) in our extremely low price range and (b) has very easy to open drawers.

I'm such a slacker this year. I've always been into baking cakes for birthdays, but my husband would rather eat ice cream. So, I got him an ice cream cake. Sure, I've made them myself before for him, but you have to understand that I found a coupon for $3.00 off an 8" round cake from Dairy Queen. I mean, we're talking a THREE BUCK savings on a way overpriced half gallon of ice cream!!! I may not be one of those extreme coupon chicks (who I think maybe are on the wrong show...I mean, why would you buy 100 bottles of Excedrin just because you have 100 coupons for it? It will expire before you can use it. Well, unless you take, like, 20 of them each day... in which case you'll end up with some kind of major organ failure and there are NO coupons for that!), but I know a deal when I see one! ;) (Where do they get all those coupons anyway? The only reason I've watched that show is to find out where they get the coupons, but they only brag about their "stock piles" and how much $$ they saved. They NEVER share their secret coupon sources!)

Where was I? Oh, yes. I saved $3, but the real savings was in the time area. I have just been so busy the past few weeks! So, yes...I'm a slacker. I admit it! "Hello, my name is Stacey and I'm a slacker." But, he was very happy with his DQ ice cream cake. :)

I should mention on here that I've made a new friend! Well, we haven't actually gotten together or anything, but she's a pastor's wife here as well. We both moved from another state. Both moves were quick moves. We have a lot in common. Our churches even have the same name. Hers is about 40 min. from ours (I think). It's going to be nice to have someone to chat with who isn't in our congregation.

Better get to bed! I have to get up early and get Gidget to the library to sign up for their summer reading program. Apparently last year they brought in miniature crocodiles and let the kids pet them...which immediately meant to her that she HAD to become a member...and immediately meant to me that I need to pray more!

Humbled

So, today was an AMAZING day for me! For the first time in over, wow, 6 or so years I played the piano for church!!! It was totally indescribable how God helped me with it.

I was really terrified when I was asked to fill the spot for the lady who usually plays. She's an amazing pianist and such a sweetheart! But ya know...I promised God that I'd serve Him where He gave me opportunity. I didn't ever think I'd play the piano again for church, but He opened the door and I knew He wanted me to do it. I figured, "Well, I'm either going to crash & burn and be totally embarrassed by doing this OR God is going to take over and let me use my fingers again." Once I accepted that, an amazing sense of peace came over me and I knew that God was in control.

Yes, I played the piano today and it was an amazing feeling. I have missed it so, so much. It's hard to explain how much you miss something like that. It was just a part of me. But, God in His infinite mercy gave me it back for today. I don't know if I'll be able to do it tomorrow. I just know that He used me today and it felt really, really good. (And, yes, I hit quite a few sour notes. lol.)


"Indescribable, Uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are AMAZING God!
All Powerful, Untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim:
You are AMAZING God!"
(Chris Tomlin)
It's AWESOME to serve such an AMAZING GOD!!!!! I'm feeling just totally humbled and grateful and just plain amazed.

Coming Soon...

...an actual blog post! But first I think I should do our taxes...don't want to do them, but I must. I just thought I'd put myself back into the cyber world to say "hello" and "thanks" to those who have been praying for me and my family! I so appreciate it and have a lot to tell... But first, I really should do my taxes...

Award

I was surprised with a blog award today! How cool is that?! I am so far behind in my blogging that I don't think I'll ever catch up on it all. But this was a fun thing to find today, so I thought I'd better blog it right away before I let it get added to the "catch up" list.

Here are the rules:

•Thank the blogger who awarded it to you.

Thank you, BOBBI, for this award! If you haven't visited her blog, DON'T unless you like to read the blog of an extremely opinionated chick who likes to rock out! lol.

•Sum up your blogging philosophy, motivation, and experience using five (5) words.

Family, Prayer, Confessions, Encouragement, Laughter

•Pass it on to 10 other blogs which you feel have real substance.

Okay, this is the part with which I have trouble. If I give you the award and you are an "award free zone" blogger, don't be worried about offending me by not posting it and I hope I didn't offend you by giving it to you. Mostly, I just wanted to point people who may stumble onto this post to blogs greater than my own!

Life in Joyful Chaos - Denise has the biggest heart of anyone I know!

And it Came to Pass - Debra challenges me with just about every one of her posts!

Raising Godly Daughters - Kristy's blog is newer to me, but her posts are full of honesty. Especially THIS ONE. You really should read it!!!

Great Adventures II - So, yea, Bobbi gave me the award and already has it. But, I can't list "blogs of substance" without listing hers!

Cate and Sean - Honestly, I just started reading this one. Got hooked pretty quickly... probably because I LOVE ADOPTION!!!!!

So... that's obviously 5, not 10... and since Bobbi gave it to me I guess that's only 4. I read other blogs, but these are the ones that I truly feel are blogs of substance.

For His Glory

This past week our family attended a church service at a local Baptist church. I must admit that I didn't go in the right spirit. I hadn't slept the night before and that always makes getting my head (as well as my clothes) on straight a problem!

I sang along with the music portion of the service half-heartedly. My mind wasn't there. I was focused instead on what all I should have gotten done the previous day and what I needed to get done in the days ahead.

I was there in body, but not with my whole heart, mind, and soul.

Then, something caught my attention. An elderly gentleman, I'd say 80+ years old, slowly made his way up the aisle of the small church auditorium to the platform. He opened a folder and looked out at us and smiled. As the pianist began to play, he began to sing. He sang an old song entitled "The Christ of Calvary."

Suddenly I was there... not just in body, but in body, heart, soul, and mind. His fragile body was weak. His voice trembled as he tried to hit the higher notes. It was absolutely beautiful! Not the song, although it was a beautiful song, but the heart of the man singing it. He just had this glow about him. He was at an age where so many Christians "retire" from serving in any capacity. Yet, here was a man who was determined to continue to use what he could to bring glory to the Lord!

This has been on my mind ever since that day. I suppose what's bothering me is that this lovely gentleman is doing what I so desperately want to be doing, but just seem to have lost my way. I've lost "me" -- the me I was before the MS hit and took so much away.

When I was just a girl of 15 our church found itself without a pianist. I had been taking lessons for a few years and suddenly found myself sitting on that piano stool absolutely TERRIFIED! Yet, that's where I wanted to be... that's where I knew God wanted me to be, and I somehow knew He was going to help me. I still remember all those blunders I made as I stumbled through the first few months. I remember praying that God would please give me what I needed to become the pianist that our church needed. I practiced harder than ever. You know what? God made all the difference! He blessed me with an ability to play the piano far beyond what I was able to do just from my own ability. I became a really good church pianist. In fact, our church began to grow and so many people told my pastor that they were drawn in by the music. It was so like God to take an awkward girl and use her to fill that need! He could have drawn in a fantastic, seasoned pianist to sit on that piano stool, but He didn't. He used me.

While I was in college I continued to use my God-given musical talent to serve Him. I started a children's choir and drama club. We only had 5 or 6 kids when it began, but it grew to around 50 in a very short time. I directed several musicals a year. I absolutely LOVED it. The kids voted to call themselves the C.I.A. which stood for Christians in Action. Before I knew it we had become relatively well known. We were invited to sing at other churches for special events. It was amazing how God worked in the lives of those kids!

Our motto was "For His Glory" and every time we practiced or performed, we would gather up in a huddle, pray, and then shout, "1-2-3...FOR HIS GLORY!" My goal in working with these kids was to try to instill in them the importance of using their God-given talents for God throughout their lives. I stressed it every single time we were together. I'm truly amazed at how many of them embraced it! Many of these kids were bus kids from really sad homes. My helpers and I would pick them up in our cars and bring them out for practice. Since I joined Facebook I have been contacted by so many of them. They are grown now. Many are married with children of their own. Many are in Bible colleges. Many are serving God and have sent me messages thanking me for thinking they were important enough to "waste" my time on. That makes me cry. I always respond that it was an honor to be allowed to work with them. I never considered any of my kids a waste of time!

Now I'm just so lost. No longer can I play the piano. No longer can I direct musicals. Those are the things that I love to do for God, but He has taken the ability to do them away.

"Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly." (Job 1:20-22)

I think about all that Job lost and feel shame. I call this blog, "Confessions of a Pastor's Wife" yet I rarely confess much. Well, here I am confessing! I feel shame because I have these little pity parties often. "Boo-Hoo! I've lost so much! This MS is no fun and no fair!"

How pathetic am I??? Job lost so much more than I can even imagine and yet he found a way to still praise the Lord in the midst of it all!!!

I am sorry when I have these little pity parties, and I tell God so. I ask Him to forgive me. I know He does because His Word tells me in 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

That takes me back to the song that sweet gentleman sang. "The Christ of Calvary" -- Who was brutally beaten, spat upon, mocked, had a crown of thorns thrust into His precious head, and then crucified... all so I could sit here in my wheelchair and have a pity party?

Yes, I can do that... but I don't want to anymore!!!

I have lost the "me" I used to be, but I need to find the "me" He wants me to be now. When I was that teenager He gave me what I would need to serve Him-- for that time.
Is it such a reach to believe that He will once again give me what I need to serve Him now -- "for such a time as this"?

Won't you please pray with me that He will reveal to me how He now wants me to serve Him. I don't want to just sit around waiting for Heaven and do nothing to serve Him. I want to serve Him... I desperately NEED to serve Him!

1-2-3...FOR HIS GLORY!

"As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen." (I Peter 4:10-11)

"Ye shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him." (Deuteronomy 13:4)

"Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality." (Romans 12:9-13)

Remembering...

It seems that no one in this area cares to remember what this day is all about. When I was a kid, and up until last year, there was always a parade in which the Veterans of this area were honored as well as those who had died in service to our country. I had hoped to take Gidget today, but they decided NOT to have the Parade of Veterans this year. In fact, the newspaper put it as a very tiny "oh, by the way" at the bottom of a full page listing all the sales going on in the area. "The annual Parade of Veterans is canceled this year due to lack of interest." They ACTUALLY put it just that way! So, I guess Memorial Day is just a day that we can save a little $$... paid for by the lives of our soldiers! Pathetic. Disgraceful. (I'm just a little annoyed as you have probably noticed.)

No, I'm not against picnics or other celebrations on Memorial Day. I just think that time should be taken to remember the sacrifices that have been made & are still being made by our soldiers! Many gave their lives to make it possible for us to feel safe enough to have a picnic! I couldn't even find anything really good on TV. They used to have parades on TV on Memorial Day. On St. Patrick's Day parades were on every major network! I looked and looked, but couldn't find one. Maybe I just don't have enough channels. I don't know.

I remember going to our town parade each year as a kid. I remember feeling proud to be an American as I watched the Veterans march or ride in a car. Some were being pushed in wheelchairs because they had no legs. Some would be proudly smiling and saluting the crowd. Others would be in tears. The crowd would all fall in behind them and walk all the way to the town cemetery and decorate the graves. I remember feeling saddened as I saw all the flags on the graves of the fallen soldiers from our small town. There were so many! This year, I guess it was too much of a "sacrifice" for this town to give up their little league baseball games and car shopping. I live beside 3 little league fields. Usually I hear the National Anthem at least 4 or 5 times a day. Not once today. NOT ONCE!!!!

So, today, I'm choosing to remember. Won't you take at least a moment to remember what this day is truly about?

Up Time

Happy Birthday, Gidget!!!

(Lots of pictures... I know. But I rarely share them...)

I just cannot wrap my brain around the fact that my baby is now NINE! How can that be?? Wasn't I just bathing her in the kitchen sink? I'm sure I was just picking her up when she fell while trying to take her first steps! It seems like yesterday... but it was years ago now. The memory of each milestone is still etched in my brain and on my heart, but the reality is that she's growing up a little more every day. And she's going to keep doing that. I don't want to be a force that tries to hold her back. I want to be the arms that still follow behind her to catch her when she falls. I want to be the cheerleader who cheers her on as she accomplishes each goal... no matter how seemingly small.

The truth is that I just LOVE being her Mommy. I wanted a house that was filled with children my whole life. God had other plans. He gave me one child and she fills our home with so much joy! It's such an awesome responsibility, and I often feel like I'm failing miserably as a Mom. But, I have to shoo away those thoughts and push forward. Each day is a new day with new opportunities to teach and mentor her.

Above all else I want her to grow into a woman who truly loves God with all her being. This may seem strange to some, but my husband and I have been praying for her future husband for as long as I can remember. I pray that he stays safe and that he grows to love God with all his being, and that he will love my daughter the way God intends for husbands to love their wives: as Christ loves His bride, the church.

I'm feeling very... I don't know how I'm feeling. When it hit me that Gidget is now half way to 18 I just thought I'd have a heart attack! It aches so much... but I don't want to dwell so much on what is behind that I miss enjoying what is right here, right now. You know what I mean?

We had a great time celebrating her birthday. I made up little clues and gave them to her one at a time. One was about the surprise visit from Grandma and Grandpa. Another was that she got to go to the donut shop for breakfast on Monday followed by a trip to the aquarium. It was homeschool week there so we got tickets at about half the regular price. My friend met us there with her 4 kids. That made the day so much fun for Gidget! After that, she got to pick where we ate dinner. She really enjoyed getting the clues and trying to solve them. (I'm wondering if it would have been enough just to give her a riddle book and save the $$! LOL.)

Anyway, happy birthday to my baby girl! As I'm always telling her: You may not be a baby anymore, but you'll always be my baby! I love you!!

The Race

Usually I just hit mute or flip the channel when commercials on. Call me crazy, but I don't feel the need for my little girl to know that there is a magic pill for men to use so they'll be ready "when the mood hits"... or that there is another magic pill that will stop a woman from having those inconvenient menstrual cycles... or the ever-so-pornful Victoria's Secret ads. SERIOUSLY -- at this point, does she keep anything a secret???

But last night just as I was about to hit the mute button, this commercial caught my attention. It had the Hallmark feel, so I watched it. I haven't researched what the website is all about or anything. I just thought it was a really sweet commercial. I actually cried. I couldn't find it on YouTube, but did find it on their website. It's called The Race. CHECK IT OUT HERE.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. There are a bunch more on their website, but I'll have to check them out at another time. Right now, I need to call Victoria and speak with her about modesty and discretion... :)

Merry Christmas!!

Top 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like:

10) Hey! There's a gift you don't usually see in this day and age... anywhere.

9.) Well, well, well...

8.) Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes, that would've fit.

7.) Perfect for wearing in the basement.

6.) Wow, I hope this never catches fire!

5.) If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

4.) I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

3.) Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.

2.) To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

1.) I really don't deserve this.

The very first Christmas Gift is still my favorite!!! Thank You, God, for loving us enough to give Your only begotten Son!!!

Merry Christmas, Friends!

Storms

We were driving home very late last night. DH, Gidget and I had gone out to do a little shopping and didn't know there was a storm coming. When we came out of the store we found ourselves in a really messy situation... or a winter wonderland. Depends on your perspective.

As my hubby was slowly driving home I nervously thought about how bad the roads were getting. It was snowing and sleeting... quite a mess in which to be driving.

My daughter, however, was not nervous at all. She had complete faith in her father's driving ability (something I often doubt). She said, "WOW! Look at the snow! We're driving right into it, but it looks like it is splitting in the middle just as it's about to hit us! It's going around us! How cool is this?!!" She wasn't worried a bit. She was simply along for the ride and was enjoying it.

As I thought about it today, now that we're home safe and warm and dry, I began to think about that childlike faith referred to in the Bible.

"And they brought young children to Him, that He should touch them: and His disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, He was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein." (Mark 10:13-15)

I also thought about how my little girl had complete faith in her father in the midst of the storm. She not only had complete faith, but she actually just sat back and enjoyed what she was seeing through her innocent eyes. I don't know about you, but I've been through some storms in my life and I must regretfully admit that I did not have complete faith in my father -- my Heavenly Father. The One Who created me and loves me more than I can ever comprehend... and yet I doubt Him. I wonder how many beautiful things I've missed seeing while going through a storm because I've had my eyes focused on the wrong things instead of the AWESOMENESS of God! How pathetic am I?!!

Then I thought about how it really did look like the snow/sleet was going to smash right into our windshield, but instead swirled around us. How many life storms have I been in where God drove me right through the middle and yet kept me from being directly hit square in the head? I don't know... and won't know until I get to Heaven. I'm sure that He has protected me more times than I can count and I never even think to thank Him for it. Why shouldn't I thank Him for the things I don't see Him do yet know He's doing? I should take time to do that. I don't even take the time to thank Him enough for what I do see!

"But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him. But God hath revealed them unto us by His Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God." (1 Corinthians 2:9-10)

I want to keep my spiritual eyes open and see what God is doing. I want to keep my heart open to receive what it is He is trying to teach me. I want to be more like my little girl and have complete faith in my Father's driving ability in the storms of life.

"For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside Thee, what He hath prepared for him that waiteth for Him." (Isaiah 64:4)

One last contemplation: Have you ever thought about the beauty that often follows storms?

• Breathtaking rainbows that remind us that God keeps His promises...
• Majestic snow blanketing the once barren ground...
• Trees decorated with dangling icicles...

Sure, storms often bring devastating damage, but I'd like, for this moment, to concentrate on the beauty that oftentimes gets overlooked... or seen but too soon forgotten.

A Reminder for Me...

Sometimes wisdom is more about knowing when to keep your mouth shut than knowing what to say.

So Thankful!

I have so much for which to be thankful! I was thinking about this time last year. I had just suffered the worse MS attack I've had thus far. I was unable to get in or out of bed without help. My daughter would have to call my Mom in the mornings when we woke up to come help. I had to have a portable toilet in the most non-private of places because I couldn't use a walker to walk even one step and I couldn't get my wheelchair into a bathroom. I had to have my husband lift me into the bathtub where I could sit and bathe. I never felt so helpless and useless in my life.

But through all that God has allowed me to learn so many things; for that I am so grateful!!! I heard a dear pastor friend preach a message years ago about how we should view the "valleys" in life as training grounds and ask God to help us learn what it is that He wants us to learn and to help us to not miss the lesson. That has been a prayer of mine over the past year. I'm truly grateful for all that I have learned!

Last Thanksgiving I talked my husband through the Thanksgiving meal cooking. (That was even more exhausting than cooking it myself!) I wouldn't hear of not having the traditional family/friends meal as usual. I was wrong. I've learned that things will never be the same as they were and it's okay to start new traditions... or to even be a little spontaneous. So this year we are doing things VERY different! We actually (gasp) ordered our Thanksgiving meal from Bob Evans. I didn't bake anything... because I can't, and that's okay. The in-laws aren't coming (and, boy, is M-I-L upset), and neither is anyone else.

We are staying in our p.j.'s and decorating our Christmas tree while we watch the parade and the national dog show that Gidget loves to watch each year. (I could live without it!) My hubby is going to follow the heating directions and heat up our meal. Then we are going to sit around the card table which will be draped with a paper table cover instead of my nice linens (my dining room has been converted into a school room because of the wheelchair situation) . We are going to talk about what we are truly thankful for and give thanks to God.

It's going to be a very different Thanksgiving this year, but I'm very different this year! God is molding me into what He wants me to be. I got tired of fighting change. It's time to embrace God's plan for my life. It brings true joy when you do that!!!

I'm excited and happy and truly, deeply thankful to God for His mercy and grace!!!


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Just One Look

Just One Look
©2009 Jerry Bouey

Just one look to Jesus will bring healing to the soul;
Just one look to Heaven and the heart will be made whole;
Just one moment to see Him - just one glimpse of Him today;
Falling in love with Jesus is only just one look away.

One look away from the world, one look away from your sin,
One look away from your idols - looking only unto Him;
Just one look towards the Saviour, one turn away from the past,
One heart reaching towards Jesus, looking only to Him at last.

Just one look to Jesus, just the simple touch of faith;
Just one heart that hungers for something real in its place;
Just one conscience that senses there must be something greater;
Just one longing within your soul to know your own Creator.

Just one look to Jesus, a glance and then a stare;
Just one look to Jesus, to the Lord who really cares;
One look that leads to salvation, one look that's full of faith;
One look that reveals the Saviour, one look that saves by grace.

Just one look to Jesus, the Way, the Truth, the Life;
Just one look to the Master brings calm within the strife;
Just one look filled with hope, one look that brings perfect peace;
One look towards the Saviour and the inward struggles cease.

Just one look to Jesus.
Just one look.


Isaiah 45:22 Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else.Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

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I found this posted HERE and thought is was beautiful. I hope you enjoy it as well.

"Cast Thy Bread Upon the Waters"

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before.

"Leave me alone," he growled... To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

"No," he answered sarcastically. "I've just come from dining with the president.. Now go away."

The woman's smile became even broader.

Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. "What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone."

Just then a policeman came up. "Is there any problem, ma'am?" he asked..

"No problem here, officer," the woman answered. "I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?"

The officer scratched his head. "That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?"

"See that cafeteria over there?" she asked. "I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile."

"Are you crazy, lady?" the homeless man resisted. "I don't want to go in there!" Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.

"Let me go, officer! I didn't do anything!"

"This is a good deal for you, Jack," the officer answered. "Don't blow it."

Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived.

The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. "What's going on here, officer?" he asked. "What is all this -- is this man in trouble?"

"This lady brought this man in here to be fed," the policeman answered.

"Not in here!" the manager replied angrily. "Having a person like that here is bad for business."

Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. "See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go... I didn't want to come here in the first place!"

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. "Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?"

"Of course I am," the manager answered impatiently. "They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms."

"And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?"

"What business is that of yours?"

"I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company."

"Oh..."

The woman smiled again... "I thought that might make a difference."

She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a laugh. "Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?"

"No thanks, ma'am," the officer replied. "I'm on duty."

"Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?"

"Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice."

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel. "I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer."

The officer watched him walk away. "You certainly put him in his place," he said.

"That was not my intent... Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this."

She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared at him intently.

"Jack, do you remember me?"

Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes. "I think so -- I mean you do look familiar."
"I'm a little older perhaps," she said. "Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here and I came through that very door, cold and hungry."

"Ma'am?" the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.

"I was just out of college," the woman began. "I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat."

Jack lit up with a smile. "Now I remember," he said. "I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy."

"I know," the woman continued. "Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over and saw you put the price of my food in the cash register, I knew then that everything would be all right."

"So you started your own business?" Old Jack said.

"I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business that, with the help of God, prospered.." She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. "When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll
find something for you to do around the office."

She smiled. "I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always open to you."

There were tears in the old man's eyes. "How can I ever thank you?" he asked.

"Don't thank me," the woman answered. "To God goes the glory. He led me to you."

Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways. "Thank you for your help officer," she said.

"On the contrary, Ms. Eddy," he answered. "Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget -- And thank you for the coffee!"

"Cast thy bread upon the waters: for thou shalt find it after many days." (Ecclesiastes 11:1)

Always remember to give what you can when you can... because you never know when you'll be the one in need!

Drumroll Please...

May I introduce to you my great-nephew, Conner!!!!

Isn't he just adorable! It seems like just yesterday his daddy was this size and I was holding him in my arms. Times sure flies!

I'm really sad that they live so far away! I really, really want to hold this baby! I am thankful, though, that they finally were able to e-mail some photos!

"Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee..." Jeremiah 1:5

Before you were ever born, Conner, God knew you and loved you! He has a Divine purpose for your life, little man. Seek Him with all your heart.

Congratulations, Devin and Jolene!